Group Supports Women Through Change - March 2008
By Adlen W. Robinson

With the national divorce rate at more than 50%, there are almost no families which have not been touched by divorce in some way.

When Sue Wilson’s husband left her 7 years ago, her entire world seemed to crumble. “I had already been through so many personal losses at that time,” remembered the Cumming resident. “My father had recently died, among some other tragedies—it just felt like I was in complete darkness.” Never one to wallow in self pity, Wilson invited a few friends over one night to talk about her situation. “I was right in the middle of the divorce and my two friends were already divorced, so they understood what I was going through,” explained Wilson. “It occurred to me that there really was not anything close by that offered what I needed—not a support group per se, but women who knew what I was experiencing and who could offer their perspective and what was working for them.”

Wilson began thinking of what kind of a group she would like to be a part of, and pretty soon, Garden of Empowerment was born. “I was so excited that I sat down and actually emailed the Oprah show explaining my idea,” said Wilson. Two days later, a producer from the Oprah show called Wilson. “I could not believe it—they wanted all of the details of the group, as well as photos, and it was the hardest thing I had to do but I had to tell them that the group was just an idea I had, not something that existed just yet.” It was at that moment that Wilson realized she was on to something.

Wilson wasted no time with her plan. First, Wilson invited several friends over to her home for a meeting of sorts. The women, all divorced or widowed, discussed what they would want from the group Wilson imagined. “We have all been daughters, wives and mothers—so many women spend their entire lives giving to others, and they truly do not know who they are separate from those roles,” explained Wilson. “Often women lose themselves and when they find themselves at this point, they just have to look at who they are.” Wilson went on to say that when she found herself at that point, she desperately needed someone to talk to, who would listen, but not judge her. “In our meetings, trust is huge,” stressed Wilson. “We have a high trust level and an incredibly safe environment for women to share their struggles, as well as their successes.”

“We are not a support group, but rather are an organization for personal growth—we are not about having pity parties, but are all about helping each other move on with our lives.” Wilson said that despite the efforts of many and the fact that divorce is so prevalent in our society, there is still a stigma about it. “Once women admit that there is a stigma, it is actually very freeing.” Wilson explained that more than 50% of all first marriages and 60% of all second marriages end in divorce, so there is a definite need in our community to reach out to help those who may feel overwhelmed and even despair. “We try to address every area of a woman’s life— physical, spiritual and emotional—and to offer her tools for these areas.”

One of the groups’ members, Cumming resident Diane Lasorda, said the group also helps women who may be reeling from the shock of the divorce and may not possess the skills required when they suddenly find themselves singe. “Some women have been married for more than 20 years and have never balanced their checkbook,” said Lasorda. “Sue does a great job making people feel comfortable and providing the group with excellent speakers and other resources.”

Another member of the group, Nancy Lee, echoed Lasorda’s comments. “Even if you were the one who wanted the divorce, it is as if someone died,” Lee said. “Your life does change and this is a group that can really be there for you and meet you where you are with your experience.” Lee said one message she has for women going through a divorce is there are numerous people in the community who are willing to help. “There is life after divorce—even though you usually do not feel like it when you are going through it.”

Obviously passionate about Garden of Empowerment, Wilson said she truly feels she is doing what she was meant to do. “When you reach out to help others, you heal yourself—for me this entire experience has been so positive and healing.”

On April 13 there will be a spring fashion show at Stein Mart in Cumming and all proceeds will go to Garden of Empowerment, which is a non-profit organization. Contributions are tax deductible. The models in the fashion show are members of the group. “We think the fashion show is going to be so much fun,” said Wilson excitedly. “We hope the community will join us for the event.”